Hoodie
by mecabitchell
Summary: It's been over a year since she's seen her; over a year since the fight; over a year since they broke up; over a year since Beca walked out on Chloe.


Beca left Chloe in a fit of anger. They'd been together for several months, but one day, Beca just stopped loving her. Chloe was no longer the sunshine in her life, she was just another chore. Every reason Beca had fallen in love with Chloe had now become a reason why she fell out of love.

Chloe's always-bright personality was just immature. Chloe's constant care for Beca became insistent nagging. Chloe's love for music was now another distraction in her life. Chloe's path of career had become disgusting smells of animals throughout the apartment. Chloe's spontaneity was now recklessness. Chloe's never-wavering love for Beca was just constant clinginess.

Beca found someone new. She found him while she was still with Chloe, in fact. Though she never actually cheated on Chloe, her new-found love for Theo began to overpower her feelings.

Ever since Beca walked out, there had always been tension between the two of them. Any party that their mutual friends held, there was a silent agreement that they were to only invite one or the other, but never both.

Although Chloe still loves Beca, she has learned to resent her. She hates her for how Beca broke her heart, and she hates her for loving someone more than she has ever loved Chloe.

Despite their fights and inability to be civil around each other, it is known that, despite anything, they will always care for each other.

So when they happen to show up to the same party one night, held by a friend that didn't know their history, Beca was utterly shocked to say the least. So shocked, in fact, that the moment she sees a flash of red hair dancing in the midsts of other sweaty and drunk strangers, Beca drinks. A lot.

Beca isn't a lightweight, but given her small stature, alcohol doesn't always hold well in her body. Not to say that Beca has ever thrown up, but she is prone to panic attacks when her alcohol content is so high that she's incapable of managing her feelings. Especially if those feelings revolve around a certain redhead and a certain breakup between her and a music executive.

Her breakup with Theo was the only reason why she agreed to come to the party. She needed an excuse to get drunk without judgement, and what better way to celebrate than the 21st birthday of her neighbor's friend: Emily Junk.

Shot, after shot, after shot, Beca has finally reached her limit. She's sitting on the floor of the kitchen, crying, a red Solo cup knocked over next to her, and a small crowd of people surrounding her.

Beca's heart is beating so fast, she's convinced she's having a heart attack. There's a huge lump in her throat where air should be passing through freely, and she's incapable of getting any oxygen into her lungs. Her tongue is pressed tight to the roof of her mouth and her bottom lip is trembling, she's not able to speak to anyone or express to anyone that she just needs to get to her car. Every time she blinks, as soon as she opens her eyes again, it takes seconds for the darkness in her peripheral vision to clear up and for her vision to focus as best it can whilst clouded by tears.

She can hear screaming, or maybe it's the music, but everything is so distant, she doesn't know what's real and what's in her head. All the people surrounding her are making her feel claustrophobic, but she has no control over her body to be able to tell them to move.

That is until, suddenly, tan legs are standing right in front of her and pushing everyone away. She can hear the kitchen door slam and suddenly the room is empty aside from her and the brown wedges standing between her thighs. Before she can even look up to see who it is, those legs have moved to sit behind her and hug her waist.

Initially, she freaks out. She hates physical contact and she hates the idea of a stranger cradling her while she's drunk and basically psychopathic. Then, she smells it. The sweet smell of vanilla mixed with coconut. The smell of Chloe.

She closes her eyes and relaxes into the arms around her, regaining some control of her tongue, but the rest of her body remains useless. Chloe doesn't say anything, but just holds her and waits for Beca to calm herself down.

This has happened many times before. When they were together, Beca was always getting herself into situations where a panic attack would be triggered. But every single time it happened, Chloe was there. She would hold her and the two would sit in silence until the panic attack subsided and Beca would be able to talk it out.

But this time was different. Beca wasn't calming down and Chloe could feel it. Maybe it was the fact that they hadn't spoken in a year, or maybe it was the fact that Beca probably still hated her. Either way, Chloe didn't know what to do, so she spoke.

"Beca, how can I help?"

Staggered breaths between each word, Beca finally managed a small, "Car...hoodie."

Chloe quickly moved her hands to cover Beca's ears for a split second while she screamed from her spot. "EMILY! GO GET BECA'S HOODIE FROM HER CAR NOW!"

Emily stuck her head in the doorway, earning a glare from Chloe that she hadn't immediately ran out, but ducked away quickly. In less than a minute, Emily returned with a blue hoodie, "BEALE" spelled out on the back in gold font.

Chloe freezes as she watches Emily throw the hoodie over Beca's head. That was Chloe's hoodie that she gave to Beca two months into their relationship.

It was their seventh date. Beca had taken them on a late-night trip to the beach. They didn't go in the ocean due to the freezing cold weather, but they walked around on the sand. When they reached a cave, Beca took them inside and turned on her phone flashlight. Lighting up the left wall, there were a million hearts carved all over. Beca guided Chloe over to one heart in particular: a small heart with the initials BM + CB inside.

Beca had carved their initials into Lover's Cave. It was on that date that Beca was the first to say, "I love you." On the walk back, Beca had gotten cold. Chloe took off her hoodie and gave it to her. That was the last night Chloe ever wore that hoodie.

She forgot she even gave it to Beca, and now that she was seeing it, all her feelings were rushing back. She had never stopped loving Beca.

A few minutes into Beca cradling the hoodie hard into her chest, she finally calmed down. When she felt it was safe to talk, Chloe finally asked the question that she couldn't stop thinking: "why did that calm you down?"

Beca took a minute to sit and stare at the counter in front of her. After what felt like years to Chloe, Beca turned herself around to finally look at each other properly in over a year.

"It's the only thing I have left of you."

"But you left me. For Theo. I spent months trying to get over you and I'm still trying. All this time you've made it seem like you hate me, but now you're saying something that sounds like you love me."

"I do love you. I never stopped loving you."


End file.
